If you’ve been in a sexually intimate relationship for more than a year, you’ve probably had the experience of being in a good mood while your partner isn’t—and vice versa. Unequal libidos are a very prevalent long-term relationship issue, at least on occasion. Consider it. Visit sex toys shop malaysia for surprises.
1. Don’t be scared
First and foremost, stop worrying about hurting your partner’s feelings when you ask for more sex,” advises Anka Radakovich, a licensed sexologist and couples’ counsellor. While it’s crucial to treat your spouse with respect when addressing any sensitive matter (more on that later), mismatched sexual desire is a typical issue among couples, especially for long partnerships where demands and desires might shift over time.
What matters is that we talk about it. “Never be frightened or embarrassed to talk about sex with the individual with whom you’re having sex!” Sexologist Emily Morse, presenter of the Sex With Emily podcast, feels that articulating your needs and preferences is critical. “Every relationship, including your sex life, is full with compromises,” she says. “While many couples don’t have the same sex schedule, there’s no reason you can’t express how important it is to you.”
2. If possible, have the conversation in person.
“As awkward as it may be, having a face-to-face dialogue with your spouse is the best way to proceed,” says Debra W. Soh, Ph.D., a sex researcher and neurologist. “Delivery is everything,” she adds, adding that it’s best to bring up the topic since neither of you is in a hurry.
When you’re both calm and joyful, bring up the issue. Take a hint from the swingers and give them a back massage. A massage can calm anybody, build closeness, and get them down—or up!—for much long-awaited sex before you know it.
3. Start with the positive news.
This is particularly crucial: you would not want to put the spouse on the defensive. To that end, Soh recommends beginning on a brighter note by discussing what you enjoy about your sex life. Besides, bringing up some sensual recollections might be just what your spouse needs to get in the mood.
4. Be your own advocate.
Using “I” comments as an anti-defensive tactic and beneficial relationship habit to get it into because then your spouse doesn’t feel blamed.
5. Find out what your partner’s preferences are.
Discovering what might improve your partner’s experience can help you find that alignment.
If your spouse never appears to be in the mood, find out what makes they feel attractive, when they want to have sex, and how they prefer to begin. Even if it means waking up a few minutes earlier or scheduling sex dates, at the very least you’re striving toward a more pleasant, sexier solution.
6. Be explicit and clear in your desires.
Because clarity is key when it comes to figuring out relationship issues, sex experts advises being as explicit as possible about the type of sex you want to have—and how frequently.